Honeymoon for Six
Chapter One
“For the love of all that is holy, please leave that turn of the last century getup in the closet!” Josephine Ummarino, known to her closest friends as Jo, and to her oversized Italian family as Giuseppa, shook her head at her eldest sister. “What kind of a woman wears something like that to her one and only bachelorette party?”
“The kind who wishes you’d stop treating this trip like a strip club training program and more like the fun girls trip it’s supposed to be. I mean, weren’t you the one who told Angie how much you loved the idea of an ordinary last-night party instead of a bachelorette party?” Mina, the soon-to-be bride, shot her youngest sister a piercing glare.
“I did, but this is different.” Jo shrugged. The whole idea of a few close family and friends going off on a ten-day cruise was in itself different. Most traditional bachelorette parties were a long weekend at best, but Mina wanted this to be more of a special time with the women closest to her, so a long cruise won.
Shaking her head, Mina rolled her eyes and blew out a frustrated sigh.
“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t do your party at Uncle Vinny’s pizzeria.” Jo’s mom stirred the gravy she’d been simmering on her daughter’s stove for hours. “He has a really nice room in the back.”
“Mama.” Jo tried really hard not to whine, but they’d explained to their mother more than once that a dark room in the back of their uncle’s aging pizza parlor was not the send-off to married life that she and Ginnie, the middle sister, had planned for Mina. “You can’t compare Uncle Vinny’s restaurant to ten days on the azure-blue Caribbean.”
“You want blue?” Her mother waved a spoon at her. “Uncle Vinny can paint the walls.” Antoinette Ummarino turned back to her simmering sauce. “Blue is a nice color.”
Mina shook her head at Jo, signaling it was time to change the subject.
Knowing her sister was right, Jo leaned into her mom and kissed her on the cheek. “We can have a nice rehearsal dinner at Uncle Vinny’s. How does that sound?”
Her mother shrugged, but Jo could tell the woman was hiding a smile. “I’ll let him know.” A lazy grin erupted. “Maybe we’ll still paint the room blue.”
Jo and the other sisters chuckled. “Blue is a nice color.”
“What about this?” Ginnie held a floral sundress up to her chin. “Too much color?”
“No such thing as too much color,” their mother muttered.
“I like it.” Mina nodded. “With your figure, that dress will have heads turning.”
“Who knows,” Jo flashed a toothy grin, “maybe you’ll find a man of your own.”
“That’s all I need, find a nice guy on board who lives somewhere across the country. No thanks.” Ginnie shook her head, and set the dress aside. “Maybe I’ll stick to cotton shirts and capris.”
“Chicken,” Jo squawked.
Ginnie smiled widely. “If the feather fits, wear it.”
“Oh, brother.” Mina rolled her eyes. “If there’s ever an award for the worst clichés, Ginnie, you’d win every time.”
Her sister shrugged. “Like I said, if the feather fits…”
The three fell into fits of giggles the way they’d done since they were little kids. Jo couldn’t believe Mina would be getting married and moving out of the house they’d shared the last few years. A lot of sisters didn’t get along, but she couldn’t imagine her world without Ginnie and Mina in it. Truth be told, she was probably looking forward to this cruise more than her sister. Not that she wasn’t happy with her life, but some days, staring at a computer all day and then watching television with your sisters at night just felt, well, geriatric. Everyone should have a little adventure in their life once in a while, and she was more than ready to add a little excitement to hers. This was one last chance for some serious sister/girl fun. To live it up, at least for the next ten days.
“Where’s the love of my life?” The voice of Mina’s soon-to-be husband, Kent, whom she’d met on the one and only cruise the sisters had ever taken, carried through the large home.
Another thing Jo loved was the way her sister lit up at anything to do with Kent. Jo could only hope that some day she too would meet that special someone who makes her feel like she sat on top of the world—just not yet. She still had a lot of fun things she wanted to do before settling down to home and hearth.
Giving his soon-to-be bride a kiss that was just hot enough to warm the room a degree or two, but sweet enough to make their mother smile, Kent stepped back and enveloped Mina’s hand in his. “Everyone all packed?”
“Almost!” Ginnie grabbed the colorful dress she’d debated and headed down the hall and up the stairs.
“I’m ready.” Jo had been packed for more than a week but she wasn’t going to share that little tidbit of information.
“Me too. Though,” Mina grinned up at Kent, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “I could probably leave some room if you want to stowaway.”
He kissed her temple and lowered his voice. “You have no idea how much I wish I could.”
“Oh, I might.” With those few words and their gazes steady and locked on each other, the temperature in the room inched higher again.
Blowing out a low sigh, Jo had always thought her life was full and fun, but suddenly she felt like something was truly missing. Not that this cruise would change that. After all, the odds of a major computer fiasco booking total strangers in the same room happening a second time were beyond slim to none. Too bad, right about now being confined in a cabin with an available hunk didn’t feel like such a bad idea at all.
* * * *
Dylan Barnes had several good things in his life, a mother who was a walking poster child for unconditional maternal love, even if she had a dictatorial streak during his childhood, a father who supported his every effort whether sound or foolish, a sister who let him think he was smarter than her even though they both knew it wasn’t true, and a best friend who had been more like a brother since they were born three months apart to their sorority sister mothers. Mothers who also happened to be next-door neighbors for most of the boys’ lives. The best friend was his current dilemma. For a lot of people, having a close friend in show business was beyond intriguing. Even if that friend worked behind the scenes and not in front of the camera. Carson Bennett had finally been made associate producer of a reality television game show, Love on Deck.
Now, Dylan’s long-planned trip with his best friend would be doubling as a working vacation for Carson. Which meant that Dylan would be spending the next ten nights on a floating hotel for the production of the new show. Personally, Dylan found these dating/find-the-love-of-your-life television shows absurd, but he did indeed want to help cheer his friend on. He just wished he could do it another time from his living room recliner. And so did Dylan’s associates. Even though he had weeks of unused vacation time and sick leave coming to him, the timing for taking two weeks of it couldn’t have been worse. When they’d originally planned their trip, neither had any idea that Carson would be getting his own show or that the biggest client the family firm had ever courted would be on the lookout for a new law firm. On top of that, being short one attorney wasn’t helping. Especially since as of Monday morning, his dad and he were dead smack in the middle of the most crucial negotiations the firm had ever participated in. The boost to the company’s bottom line and reputation was almost immeasurable.
Of course if his last name wasn’t Barnes, and if his mother wasn’t so excited for her best friend’s son, this trip would not be happening at all. Being a junior partner in Barnes & Barnes Attorneys at Law had its pros and cons. The first attorney in the family had been Jedediah Barnes. When his son joined the firm it had become Barnes & Barnes. For over a hundred years there had always been at least two generations of Barnes at the firm. Until a few years ago there had been three. He still missed his grandfather’s silent strength.
“You do realize that most adult men would kill for a chance to take a luxury cruise filled with bikini-clad young women and have VIP access to the filming of a soon-to-be hit television show.” Carson rolled his eyes. “From the look on your face anyone would think instead of giving you a dream opportunity, I was asking you to walk the plank.”
“Sorry. Long day at work.”
“You have a lot of those lately. You should just tell your dad that you gave the firm your best effort but it’s not for you. You need to do what makes you really happy.”
Carson made at least some sense. More than once in the last few months Dylan had wondered just how awful would it be to take the leap and walk away from the law and turn his wood working hobby into a new career. Until he’d look at his notice of rental increase along with his bills and other expenses, then imagine breaking his father’s heart, and he’d put the dream of working with his hands off for another day. Or year.
“What you should have done was tried out for the show. A quarter of a million dollars grand prize would go a long way to funding that furniture business you’re always talking about.”
Shaking his head, Dylan sighed. “First of all, these crazy competition reality shows are, well, crazy. Second, unless you carry around a magic hat that I could pull the perfect partner out of, auditioning for the show wasn’t an option.” He knew full well that excuse would go over more easily with Carson than the argument that he thought the whole premise was dumb.
“First of all,” Carson waved a hand at him, “no one knows for sure if anyone is the perfect partner. Remember, none of the contestants have actually met in person yet. They’ve only known each other online. Now the show will be the test of true love. And second, what about Colleen?”
“What about her?”
“You two are close. I’m sure she would have done the show with you.”
“We’re friends, not soul mates. Besides, we’ve already met in person. No surprises there.”
Carson shrugged. “Don’t let the word reality fool you.”
“All the more reason to watch a good movie on TV instead.”
The words were barely past Dylan’s lips when his friend’s phone blared the theme from the old television show Love Boat. It took everything in Dylan not to roll his eyes, or worse, gag. Carson frowned, grunted, bobbed his head a time or two, then sighed. Whatever was going down, from the pained expression on his best friend’s face, it wasn’t anything good.
His brows buckled with concern, Carson turned, and still listening to the voice on the other end of the phone, leveled his gaze with Dylan’s. Carson stared at him and very slowly a lazy grin tipped up at one end of his mouth then the other. “No worries. I’ve got this.” A few more grunts and nods and Carson disconnected the call and slid his phone into his pocket.
“Problems?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“What’s Colleen doing for the next two weeks?” Carson stood, arms crossed, grinning like the proverbial cat who’d eaten the canary.
“I don’t know, and something tells me I don’t want to know.”
“There are three couples on this first season.”
“Season? You’ve only got a ten-day cruise.”
Carson shrugged. “We have fifteen episodes planned. With ten days of footage that should not be a problem. Viewers will be voting on taped—and obviously edited—episodes.”
“How can you air who’s in the lead each episode if the viewers haven’t voted yet?” The words were barely out of Dylan’s mouth when he held up his hand. “Never mind. Forget I asked. I really don’t need or want to know.”
“Good, because right now none of it is important. One of the final couples was in a car accident. The girlfriend had to go into surgery. She’ll have to do rehab next so there’s no way they can do the show.”
“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.”
To Dylan’s chagrin, Carson’s smile grew wider. “Call Colleen. Tell her you guys are going on an all expenses paid cruise, and a chance to win two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”
“But we’re not in love.” From what he understood, the whole premise of the show was for the couple still madly in love after ten days of making nice in person and scoring the most points on random daily challenges would win the big bucks.
“Details. Remember, don’t let the word reality fool you.”
“I am not going to play games with Colleen for the sake of your show. Don’t you have backup couples?”
“No, we don’t have backup couples available on two days notice, this is a new show. Listen, the first run of a new antique appraisal show, the crew had to pull people in from off the street. In some ways, I’m doing the same thing. If you tell Colleen up front what this is all about, you won’t be playing games—you’ll be playing for a lot of money. Maybe you should just ask her?”
That gave him pause. He supposed if both he and Colleen knew this was all for show—and prize money—maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. The least he should probably do was ask her. After all, one hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars would give him plenty of breathing room to turn his hobby into a profitable business. “I’ll call her, but if she says no, you’ll have to find your show another patsy.”
It took all of thirty seconds to call Colleen and another fifteen seconds to explain the situation and only a short instant for her to screech in his ear. “I’ll never have to buy another lottery ticket again!”
One brief illogical sentence and Dylan knew he was about to become a contestant on a television game show. Heaven help them all.
“For the love of all that is holy, please leave that turn of the last century getup in the closet!” Josephine Ummarino, known to her closest friends as Jo, and to her oversized Italian family as Giuseppa, shook her head at her eldest sister. “What kind of a woman wears something like that to her one and only bachelorette party?”
“The kind who wishes you’d stop treating this trip like a strip club training program and more like the fun girls trip it’s supposed to be. I mean, weren’t you the one who told Angie how much you loved the idea of an ordinary last-night party instead of a bachelorette party?” Mina, the soon-to-be bride, shot her youngest sister a piercing glare.
“I did, but this is different.” Jo shrugged. The whole idea of a few close family and friends going off on a ten-day cruise was in itself different. Most traditional bachelorette parties were a long weekend at best, but Mina wanted this to be more of a special time with the women closest to her, so a long cruise won.
Shaking her head, Mina rolled her eyes and blew out a frustrated sigh.
“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t do your party at Uncle Vinny’s pizzeria.” Jo’s mom stirred the gravy she’d been simmering on her daughter’s stove for hours. “He has a really nice room in the back.”
“Mama.” Jo tried really hard not to whine, but they’d explained to their mother more than once that a dark room in the back of their uncle’s aging pizza parlor was not the send-off to married life that she and Ginnie, the middle sister, had planned for Mina. “You can’t compare Uncle Vinny’s restaurant to ten days on the azure-blue Caribbean.”
“You want blue?” Her mother waved a spoon at her. “Uncle Vinny can paint the walls.” Antoinette Ummarino turned back to her simmering sauce. “Blue is a nice color.”
Mina shook her head at Jo, signaling it was time to change the subject.
Knowing her sister was right, Jo leaned into her mom and kissed her on the cheek. “We can have a nice rehearsal dinner at Uncle Vinny’s. How does that sound?”
Her mother shrugged, but Jo could tell the woman was hiding a smile. “I’ll let him know.” A lazy grin erupted. “Maybe we’ll still paint the room blue.”
Jo and the other sisters chuckled. “Blue is a nice color.”
“What about this?” Ginnie held a floral sundress up to her chin. “Too much color?”
“No such thing as too much color,” their mother muttered.
“I like it.” Mina nodded. “With your figure, that dress will have heads turning.”
“Who knows,” Jo flashed a toothy grin, “maybe you’ll find a man of your own.”
“That’s all I need, find a nice guy on board who lives somewhere across the country. No thanks.” Ginnie shook her head, and set the dress aside. “Maybe I’ll stick to cotton shirts and capris.”
“Chicken,” Jo squawked.
Ginnie smiled widely. “If the feather fits, wear it.”
“Oh, brother.” Mina rolled her eyes. “If there’s ever an award for the worst clichés, Ginnie, you’d win every time.”
Her sister shrugged. “Like I said, if the feather fits…”
The three fell into fits of giggles the way they’d done since they were little kids. Jo couldn’t believe Mina would be getting married and moving out of the house they’d shared the last few years. A lot of sisters didn’t get along, but she couldn’t imagine her world without Ginnie and Mina in it. Truth be told, she was probably looking forward to this cruise more than her sister. Not that she wasn’t happy with her life, but some days, staring at a computer all day and then watching television with your sisters at night just felt, well, geriatric. Everyone should have a little adventure in their life once in a while, and she was more than ready to add a little excitement to hers. This was one last chance for some serious sister/girl fun. To live it up, at least for the next ten days.
“Where’s the love of my life?” The voice of Mina’s soon-to-be husband, Kent, whom she’d met on the one and only cruise the sisters had ever taken, carried through the large home.
Another thing Jo loved was the way her sister lit up at anything to do with Kent. Jo could only hope that some day she too would meet that special someone who makes her feel like she sat on top of the world—just not yet. She still had a lot of fun things she wanted to do before settling down to home and hearth.
Giving his soon-to-be bride a kiss that was just hot enough to warm the room a degree or two, but sweet enough to make their mother smile, Kent stepped back and enveloped Mina’s hand in his. “Everyone all packed?”
“Almost!” Ginnie grabbed the colorful dress she’d debated and headed down the hall and up the stairs.
“I’m ready.” Jo had been packed for more than a week but she wasn’t going to share that little tidbit of information.
“Me too. Though,” Mina grinned up at Kent, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “I could probably leave some room if you want to stowaway.”
He kissed her temple and lowered his voice. “You have no idea how much I wish I could.”
“Oh, I might.” With those few words and their gazes steady and locked on each other, the temperature in the room inched higher again.
Blowing out a low sigh, Jo had always thought her life was full and fun, but suddenly she felt like something was truly missing. Not that this cruise would change that. After all, the odds of a major computer fiasco booking total strangers in the same room happening a second time were beyond slim to none. Too bad, right about now being confined in a cabin with an available hunk didn’t feel like such a bad idea at all.
* * * *
Dylan Barnes had several good things in his life, a mother who was a walking poster child for unconditional maternal love, even if she had a dictatorial streak during his childhood, a father who supported his every effort whether sound or foolish, a sister who let him think he was smarter than her even though they both knew it wasn’t true, and a best friend who had been more like a brother since they were born three months apart to their sorority sister mothers. Mothers who also happened to be next-door neighbors for most of the boys’ lives. The best friend was his current dilemma. For a lot of people, having a close friend in show business was beyond intriguing. Even if that friend worked behind the scenes and not in front of the camera. Carson Bennett had finally been made associate producer of a reality television game show, Love on Deck.
Now, Dylan’s long-planned trip with his best friend would be doubling as a working vacation for Carson. Which meant that Dylan would be spending the next ten nights on a floating hotel for the production of the new show. Personally, Dylan found these dating/find-the-love-of-your-life television shows absurd, but he did indeed want to help cheer his friend on. He just wished he could do it another time from his living room recliner. And so did Dylan’s associates. Even though he had weeks of unused vacation time and sick leave coming to him, the timing for taking two weeks of it couldn’t have been worse. When they’d originally planned their trip, neither had any idea that Carson would be getting his own show or that the biggest client the family firm had ever courted would be on the lookout for a new law firm. On top of that, being short one attorney wasn’t helping. Especially since as of Monday morning, his dad and he were dead smack in the middle of the most crucial negotiations the firm had ever participated in. The boost to the company’s bottom line and reputation was almost immeasurable.
Of course if his last name wasn’t Barnes, and if his mother wasn’t so excited for her best friend’s son, this trip would not be happening at all. Being a junior partner in Barnes & Barnes Attorneys at Law had its pros and cons. The first attorney in the family had been Jedediah Barnes. When his son joined the firm it had become Barnes & Barnes. For over a hundred years there had always been at least two generations of Barnes at the firm. Until a few years ago there had been three. He still missed his grandfather’s silent strength.
“You do realize that most adult men would kill for a chance to take a luxury cruise filled with bikini-clad young women and have VIP access to the filming of a soon-to-be hit television show.” Carson rolled his eyes. “From the look on your face anyone would think instead of giving you a dream opportunity, I was asking you to walk the plank.”
“Sorry. Long day at work.”
“You have a lot of those lately. You should just tell your dad that you gave the firm your best effort but it’s not for you. You need to do what makes you really happy.”
Carson made at least some sense. More than once in the last few months Dylan had wondered just how awful would it be to take the leap and walk away from the law and turn his wood working hobby into a new career. Until he’d look at his notice of rental increase along with his bills and other expenses, then imagine breaking his father’s heart, and he’d put the dream of working with his hands off for another day. Or year.
“What you should have done was tried out for the show. A quarter of a million dollars grand prize would go a long way to funding that furniture business you’re always talking about.”
Shaking his head, Dylan sighed. “First of all, these crazy competition reality shows are, well, crazy. Second, unless you carry around a magic hat that I could pull the perfect partner out of, auditioning for the show wasn’t an option.” He knew full well that excuse would go over more easily with Carson than the argument that he thought the whole premise was dumb.
“First of all,” Carson waved a hand at him, “no one knows for sure if anyone is the perfect partner. Remember, none of the contestants have actually met in person yet. They’ve only known each other online. Now the show will be the test of true love. And second, what about Colleen?”
“What about her?”
“You two are close. I’m sure she would have done the show with you.”
“We’re friends, not soul mates. Besides, we’ve already met in person. No surprises there.”
Carson shrugged. “Don’t let the word reality fool you.”
“All the more reason to watch a good movie on TV instead.”
The words were barely past Dylan’s lips when his friend’s phone blared the theme from the old television show Love Boat. It took everything in Dylan not to roll his eyes, or worse, gag. Carson frowned, grunted, bobbed his head a time or two, then sighed. Whatever was going down, from the pained expression on his best friend’s face, it wasn’t anything good.
His brows buckled with concern, Carson turned, and still listening to the voice on the other end of the phone, leveled his gaze with Dylan’s. Carson stared at him and very slowly a lazy grin tipped up at one end of his mouth then the other. “No worries. I’ve got this.” A few more grunts and nods and Carson disconnected the call and slid his phone into his pocket.
“Problems?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“What’s Colleen doing for the next two weeks?” Carson stood, arms crossed, grinning like the proverbial cat who’d eaten the canary.
“I don’t know, and something tells me I don’t want to know.”
“There are three couples on this first season.”
“Season? You’ve only got a ten-day cruise.”
Carson shrugged. “We have fifteen episodes planned. With ten days of footage that should not be a problem. Viewers will be voting on taped—and obviously edited—episodes.”
“How can you air who’s in the lead each episode if the viewers haven’t voted yet?” The words were barely out of Dylan’s mouth when he held up his hand. “Never mind. Forget I asked. I really don’t need or want to know.”
“Good, because right now none of it is important. One of the final couples was in a car accident. The girlfriend had to go into surgery. She’ll have to do rehab next so there’s no way they can do the show.”
“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.”
To Dylan’s chagrin, Carson’s smile grew wider. “Call Colleen. Tell her you guys are going on an all expenses paid cruise, and a chance to win two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”
“But we’re not in love.” From what he understood, the whole premise of the show was for the couple still madly in love after ten days of making nice in person and scoring the most points on random daily challenges would win the big bucks.
“Details. Remember, don’t let the word reality fool you.”
“I am not going to play games with Colleen for the sake of your show. Don’t you have backup couples?”
“No, we don’t have backup couples available on two days notice, this is a new show. Listen, the first run of a new antique appraisal show, the crew had to pull people in from off the street. In some ways, I’m doing the same thing. If you tell Colleen up front what this is all about, you won’t be playing games—you’ll be playing for a lot of money. Maybe you should just ask her?”
That gave him pause. He supposed if both he and Colleen knew this was all for show—and prize money—maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. The least he should probably do was ask her. After all, one hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars would give him plenty of breathing room to turn his hobby into a profitable business. “I’ll call her, but if she says no, you’ll have to find your show another patsy.”
It took all of thirty seconds to call Colleen and another fifteen seconds to explain the situation and only a short instant for her to screech in his ear. “I’ll never have to buy another lottery ticket again!”
One brief illogical sentence and Dylan knew he was about to become a contestant on a television game show. Heaven help them all.
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